Honor's Truth
by Sea Dragon Dreamer
Summary: When torn between maintaing her brother's honor and helping a stranger, Maria decides to follow her instinct. But with her decision, she may have put her own life in more danger than the man she helped. A Deadliest Catch story.
1. Walking Dead, Waking Dead

Running down the dark docks, Maria's heart hammered against her chest. Eyes wide with fear scanned the boats lined up at the wooden quays, looking for a likely place to climb aboard and hide. She paused long enough to settle on the blue-trimmed white vessel before raised voices caught her ear. With a mouthed curse, Maria scrambled to get aboard before _they_ found her. Heart in her throat, she held her breath as the galley hatch opened beneath her hand and she slid into the dark interior. In the feeble light thrown off by her cheap lighter, she quickly scanned the area for a place to hide.

A sudden weight on her shoulder sent the lighter clattering to the floor and a scream died in her throat as she was twirled around to face a red-faced blond man. Panic filled her mind and she flinched as the blond gave her a rough shake.

"What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing on my boat?!" Maria tried jerking away from him, but his grip was strong and her shoulder began to throb in pain.

"I-I needed a place to hide! I was scared and…" Maria's voice died into a whimper as the man yelled.

"NOT _MY_ BOAT!! Not after that shit you pulled with my brother!!!" A tear rolled down Maria's cheek as he verbally vented his frustrations on the frightened twenty-year old.

"I-I didn't know he was your brother, C-Capitan! I'm sorry it h-happened to him, but- but he should have listened to me and walked away!" Sig's eyes flashed dangerously as Maria wrenched her shoulder from his grip, his fists clenching as he tried to control his rage.

"You're _sorry_?! Your _friends_ put my brother in the _fucking_ hospital and you're _fucking SORRY?! BULLSHIT!!_" A voice spoke softly from behind the skipper and Sig's features twitched in a mask of rage as he took a deep breath and nodded his agreement. A brown haired man came around Sig and took Maria by the arm. When she jerked her arm free, the man gave her a stern look and she allowed him to lead her out the way she first came in only moments before.

From the small group of men waiting on the dock below, a young man in his mid-twenties stepped forward and shouted at Maria in Spanish, who responded tensely. The man below violently spat out a final vehement response that left her trembling and stormed away with his four followers close on his heels. When the man next to her cleared his throat, Maria flinched and took a step away. Swallowing hard, she opened her mouth to translate but paused when he held up a hand and shook his head.

"I understood enough, and I don't want to know anything further. But I want to show you why my brother freaked out."

Momentarily hesitating when Norman climbed into his pickup, she finally slid in as he leaned across the cab to push open the passenger door with an annoyed look on his face. The drive to the hospital was silent and Maria pressed herself against the door and stared blankly ahead as she anxiously fidgeted with the ragged ends of her long black hair. The dim dashboard lights illuminated her face and Norman shook his head slightly as he glanced at her from the corner of his eye. She seemed oblivious to the fact that her clothes were stained with his brother's blood, her hands covered with the drying sticky liquid.

Walking into the waiting room, Norman took Maria's wrist in his hand and gently led her through the corridors until they reached the room where Edgar lay. Pausing at the door to open it, Norman looked back at Maria and his face set firmly as she shook her head. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she tried pulling her wrist free from the fisherman's grip. The blonde woman sitting next to the prone man looked up at the struggling Maria and her pretty features twisted in anger.

"He said that your _brother_ and his _friends _did this to him while you just stood by and watched." Maria squeezed her eyes shut and pressed a hand over her mouth as she stood just inside the door; her conscience forcing a nodded confirmation while her mind screamed that the woman lied. Through the shock she smelled the sharp tang of blood and she gagged. Finally wrenching her wrist from Norman's hand, she staggered to the tiny bathroom and slammed the door behind her.

Slowly crossing the room, Norman sat in the chair opposite Louise and took Edgar's weakly offered hand in a gentle shake. He followed Edgar's heavy-lidded stare at the door where the sounds of Maria's vomiting subsided and spoke softly.

"Her brother and his friends were waiting for her at the boat. Apparently he's not too happy she decided to call the police, and even more pissed that she grew a conscience and stayed until the ambulance arrived."

"But she's still responsible for nearly killing Edgar." Louise had resumed her hold on Edgar's hand, anger replaced by frustrated grief. Norman shrugged, and summed up what he understood from the exchange earlier on the boat.

"Sig's even more pissed because we're already behind schedule as it is and now with Edgar out of commission…he's looking at working a four man crew or hiring on a half-assed greenhorn who isn't worth the time and effort of training." He snorted at Edgar's tired lopsided grin.

"Yeah, keep laughing Bud. I'm the one who's gonna have to train the sorry bastard Sig hires…_if _he hires anyone." Edgar's voice rasped as he answered.

"Look at this way…you just got promoted!" Norman cracked a sad smile as he shook his head.

"Fuck the promotion…I want my brother back." Silence fell as the tap water ran shortly before Maria emerged from the bathroom looking less sickly, even if her skin had an ashen tone to it. Sliding to the floor, she stared at her trembling hands; cleaned of blood, she held them away from herself as though they were dripping the crimson liquid.

"What do I do? I-I told the lady at nine one one what happened…and stayed with him until help got there…but Mauricio said…" Maria swallowed hard against the rising panic and wiped her hands over her dirty jeans.

Footsteps echoed up the hallway and stopped in the door. Maria looked up at the police officer; a simple nod confirmed his question of identification and, with a last regretful glance over her shoulder at the three Hansens, she allowed the officer to lead her from the hospital to the waiting squad car.

For a long while after Maria left, silence hung heavy in the room as Edgar slipped once again into a painless darkness. Louise hugged herself tight with one arm as her hand remained cradled in his, and Norman sat staring at the open door, lost in thought.

Louise's gentle shaking pulled Norman from a doze and he blinked owlishly around him before recognition settled in. Louise repeated herself twice before Norman could register her words.

"You said you were there when her brother yelled at her…what did he say that had her so upset?" Norman scrubbed a hand wearily over face and stretched before he answered.

"He said, 'You're the walking dead.'"

********

**A/N: Welcome to my third story based off the real life men and women of the _F/V Northwestern_. I've been putting a little more thought into this one than the second one, but it's quite a bit different than both previous stories. As I'm getting ready to take a break between seasons, along with a wonky new work schedule, please bear with me on this new story. Constructive criticisms and reviews are most welcome, and I hope you enjoy. Thanks for reading.**

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Story Copyright Alissa Franko 2009

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	2. Passing Judgement

"Maria Alvarez, you have been charged with aiding in the attempted murder of Edgar Hansen. Although the jury has found you guilty, and you did flee the crime scene, your decision to remain with the victim until paramedics arrived, as well as the choice to summon help, played a factor in my deciding your sentence. I herby sentence you to five months house-arrest, eighteen months in community service, and twenty-four months of counseling."

The judge's gavel echoed through the courtroom as Maria's state-appointed attorney rose and cleared her throat. Asking and receiving permission to approach the bench, she glanced over her shoulder at Maria staring at the table before her.

"Your Honor, Maria doesn't have a home to be confined to. If she returns to her mother's house, her life will be forfeit. I know Maria's testimonies against her brother have put him in prison for a long time, but he has connections both here in Alaska and in Mexico. She will be _killed_ if she goes back to the Alvarez household." The judge glared over the top of his glasses at the attorney and sighed.

"Counselor, I've already given my decision. Ms. Alvarez will be under house arrest under her last known address…"

Raised voices near the back of the courtroom caught the judge's attention and he turned his glare upon the two Hansen brothers.

"Gentlemen, do you mind?! If you want to argue, take it outside please!"

Norman gave Sig a pointed look as he walked up the aisle towards the table where Maria sat. Pausing behind the gate, he shot a glare over his shoulder at Sig's muttered "you're wasting your time, Norman."

"Sir, what if she were held under house-arrest while completing some of her community service for my brother and I? We're a man short, and our quota this year was recently raised. We could use the extra set of hands, and it would keep her safer than locking her up at her mother's home. One of the crew would be with her at all times to make sure she met the terms of the house arrest and community service…" Norman trailed off as the judge shot a look over his shoulder at Sig.

"Captain Hansen? Have you agreed to this proposal?" With a look that could freeze the blood and marrow of any other man aimed at his brother, Sig reluctantly agreed to take Maria on as an un-voluntary volunteer greenhorn.

****

With a police escort, Maria returned to her mother's mobile home near the edge of town one last time to fill a backpack with essentials and a small duffle bag with warm clothes. Giving her mother a hug, she paused long enough to receive a few words of wisdom and a silver crucifix from her grandmother.

"Sí Abuela, obedeceré el capitán y su equipo. Prometo. Le amo. Estaré de vuelta en unos meses." (Yes Grandmother, I'll obey the captain and his crew. I promise. I love you. I'll see you in a few months.) The old woman squeezed Maria's hands tight as she whispered her goodbyes.

"Adiós, Maria. Dios te bendiga." (Farewell, Maria. God bless you.) Maria loosened her hands from her grandmother's weathered hands and turning, hurried out of the front door with tears threatening to fall. Not even looking at the police officer just outside the door, she murmured softly to him.

"C'mon, let's just get out of here."

"What, not even a goodbye for your brother and cousins? I'm surprised at you Maria!" Maria whirled around as the police officer's body hit the ground with a sickening thump and Mauricio slowly approached her. Sliding one arm around her trembling shoulders as if to embrace his younger sister, Mauricio landed a firm punch to her gut that took the breath from her lungs and her knees from beneath her. As she knelt on the ground, gasping for breath, Mauricio wrapped his fingers in her thick hair and pulled her to her feet. With a strong smack across her face, he gripped her chin with a bruised and swollen hand.

"Dé mis respetos a sus pescadores bastardos. ¡Espero que ellos tengan su diversión con usted, usted hembra estúpida!" (Give my respects to your bastard fishermen. I hope they have their fun with you, you stupid bitch!) Pushing her away, Mauricio glared at Maria's retreating form as she hurried away towards the docks in the lengthening afternoon shadows. He waited until she was gone from sight before leading his cousins back the way they came.

****

Sitting alone in the wheelhouse on the first watch of the season, Jake looked up from the magazine he was flipping through to see someone approaching the boat through the darkness. The person paused long enough to toss a duffel bag aboard before climbing gingerly after it. Jake leaned back in the skipper's chair to grab the phone on the wall behind him.

"Someone just climbed aboard, and I think it's that Maria girl…yep… okay." Hanging up, Jake stepped out onto the wheelhouse deck and listened as Maria attempted to enter through the galley hatch. Dark curses whispered into the night reached Jake's ears and he smiled to himself as he went to join Maria on deck.

"Sig did that to me once when I was late. I'm Jake; c'mon, I'll show you around." Maria paused in her futile attempts to manhandle the hatch open and eyed Jake nervously. When she didn't take his offered handshake, he lifted a shoulder and picked up her duffle bag and started back up the wheelhouse ladder. Peering over the guardrail, he smiled again.

"If you want your duffle, you're gonna have to follow me." Biting back a sneer as Jake's shaggy head disappeared back over the rail, Maria gingerly climbed the ladder and joined him in the wheelhouse. She silently followed him as he gave her a brief tour of the wheelhouse, galley and staterooms. She snatched her duffle back from him and sat on the narrow bunk, hugging the bag close to her.

Sitting on the bed next to her, Jake gently bumped her shoulder with his. His ready smile faded at her wince and he studied her carefully, uncertainty playing across his features. Opening and closing his mouth as he struggled to find the right words to say, he caught her faint smile as she glanced at him from the corner of her eye.

"You look like a fish gasping for air when you do that." A soft giggle broke through her resistance as Jake's cheeks tinged red. The ice had finally cracked, if not broken; Jake put a gentle hand on her arm and gave a kindly squeeze.

"If you want to talk about it, let me know." A silent nod met his offer, and both jumped at the sudden knock at the door. Nick snorted and his off-kilter smile had Jake's ears burning as his uncle pulled him from the narrow room by the front of his hoodie.

"C'mon Junior, we got work to do. Stay there, Alvarez. Jake'll come get you after a while." Maria frowned at the closed door confining her to the tiny stateroom and rested her chin on her bag. The moments passed by and when Jake failed to return, or anyone else for that matter, the anxious woman slowly began to relax. She could hear the small sounds of the boat amongst the sounds of the men making final preparations before casting off. Her grip around her duffle loosened and she knelt down to pull open one of the drawers beneath the bunk. Finding it already filled with clothes, she hastily shoved it closed and tried the next drawer.

_Apparently they didn't want to move what's his face's stuff off the boat. I might as well live out of my bag for the rest of my life._ Maria's lower lip poked out in an unconscious pout and her brows furrowed as she slid the drawer closed. The bag landed with a muffled thump as she rose to her feet, an arm wrapped around her tender midriff and she slid onto the bunk. She pulled her legs up against her chest and cradled the pillow under her head. She stared at the far wall without seeing it and focused on listening to the soothing sounds of the boat. Despite her best attempts her eyes drifted shut and the memories she'd tried suppressing slid through the darkness once again.

"Maria…Maria. Wake up, we're almost there and I need to show you a couple things." The man's voice slowly penetrated Maria's tormented nightmares and she jerked upright with a start. Cracking her head on the bunk above her, Maria rolled from the bunk with a dark curse and both hands clutching her smarting forehead.

Jake bit back a smile and helped Maria to stand. Staying at her elbow, he led her to the small yet familiar corridor. Gesturing at the waiting raingear, he kicked off his shoes and began suiting up.

"This is where we get ready at the start of every haul. We have five minutes to get from the staterooms," a thumb over his shoulder emphasized his words, "to out there fishing." He watched as Maria struggled to get her gear on; his attempts to help were swatted away with a dark glare and half muttered words in both English and Spanish. Finally Maria stood waiting by the bait grinder and listened as Jake gave a quick overview of what she'd be doing before moving to stand by the rail.

Jake glimpsed the cameraman panning between him and Maria behind him and laughed as he swung a flaming hook out over the rolling waves. A joyous whoop mingled with the seabirds and the roar of the wind as the hook snagged the line between the buoys. He fed the line through the block and a tense moment passed as he finished guiding the pot onto the launcher.

The entire crew felt the somber feeling lift as the crab filled the sorting table, tumbling down the chute into the holding tanks as Jake, Matt and Nick sorted through the crustaceans in search of juveniles, females and "dirty crab"…crab too covered with barnacles to be worth fussing over.

Fifteen hours passed as Jake divided his time between tossing the hook and keeping an eye on Maria. He ignored the dark glares Matt and Nick gave him, and Norman's unreadable look sent chills along his spine. Shooting a glance up at the wheelhouse as he returned to the block, he shuddered as he thought about Sig sitting up there alone with the cameraman. _I wouldn't want to be Mark right now, Sig's probably ranting about having Maria on board._

By the time Sig relented and allowed a brief break, Maria was staggering on the verge of collapse. While Jake disappeared inside, the remaining three men loitered on deck with Maria. She ducked into the space between the wheelhouse and the bait station and scooted all the way back, pulling her knees to her chest and hugged them close. She bit back the wave of nausea as she smelled the thick scent of the bait and glared at the deck beneath Norman's feet. She flinched as Jake's body blocked out the feeble sunlight as he crouched before her with a mug of coffee held before him as a peace offering. Leaning forward, she accepted the coffee with a wan smile and sipped slowly at the scalding liquid. She stared past Jake as her body savored the rest from the steady, fast-paced work, yet the momentary break seemed over before it had a chance to begin. Burning her mouth and throat as she downed the rest of her coffee, she let Jake take the mug again and resumed shoveling ground herring mixed with the fresh fish into the white plastic containers before diving into the pots to secure the bait.

Three full days of watching Maria scurry across the deck in her attempts to keep up with his fast pace did little to dampen Sig's hatred of the young woman. His youngest crewman's seeming interest didn't help matters either. The blond skipper pulled the handset down from the overhead dash and said the words he knew his crew was craving to hear; but first, he couldn't resist having his fun with them...or at least Maria.

"We're going to make a three and a half hour run to the next spot, but I don't remember ever having anyone bite the herring. Are we gonna have the Greenie do it, or do we just have her piss on the remaining pots?" Matt's voice greeted him through the wind's roar,

"Make her piss on the pots!" Looking down at the deck monitor, he grinned at Maria's stricken look and took in Nick and Norman's agreeing nods. His grin fell somewhat as he noticed Jake's weak attempt at a smile, and he knew the young man disagreed with Matt's choice of the anti-bad juju ritual. Lifting the handset to his mouth again, he addressed Maria.

"Well, what'll it be Kid…biting the head off a herring, or pissing on a pot?" Keeping an eye on the waves outside, he laughed as he watched Maria cross the deck and climb up the two deep by two tall stack of crab pots and, slipping her suspenders from her shoulders, bared her lower half to give Sig the answer to his question. Finished with the task and properly clothed for the elements, she turned to face the wheelhouse and thrust her right arm up at a right angle with the palm of her left hand smacking the crook of her arm. After giving the "fuck you" gesture to the entire crew, Maria descended the stack and pushed past the flabbergasted crew into the ready room where she shed the raingear before disappearing into the staterooms. Sig winced as he heard one of the stateroom doors slam shut and laughed.

"That takes care of that." Catching the look Mark gave him, the skipper spread his hands wide in a defensive shrug.

"What? A woman on board at sea is bad juju…has been for hundreds of years. I don't care that we've been hitting excellent numbers; it was either have her piss on the pots or bite the herring. I don't want to take any chances…_especially_ when it comes to _her_. I don't care how good she does I _won't_ trust her. Not after what happened…" Sig trailed off as he shot a glare at the recording camera and turned back to guiding the _Northwestern_ on their three and a half hour run north towards the ice pack while his crew shoveled down a hasty meal before taking a well-deserved rest.

Maria heard Jake, Nick and Norman entering the stateroom. She kept her back to them as they climbed into their bunks, curling into a ball as Jake paused to congratulate her on her hard work. She missed his hurt look as she buried her head into the pillow. With the lights now out, she slid quickly into a deep sleep. It wasn't long before the nightmares came…and the pleading look in Edgar's eyes haunting her mind as his question echoed in her ears.

_**"Why?" The question held multiple meanings and the tall, brown haired man laying prone on the ground before her meant each meaning implied. After Mauricio and their cousins had abandoned Maria in the darkened alleyway, Maria cradled the heavily bleeding man in her arms as she tried to stem the flow of blood from his chest. Tears filling her eyes made the man appear watery, and his breath rasping in his throat grated on her nerves. He opened his mouth to repeat his question and Maria raised a bloodied hand in a hushing gesture.**_

_**"D-don't talk…save your strength. ¡Ah, Dios, por favor perdóneme! (Oh, God, please forgive me!) Where are they…the ambulance should be here by now! Hey, wake up. Look at me…keep your eyes open. I'm so sorry…I didn't mean…it wasn't supposed to go this far." Sirens growing louder brought Maria's ragged breathing coming faster and Edgar felt her trembling grow more violent as the ambulance and police cars pull up in the street beyond. Maria moved as if to flee, but Edgar's hand gripped hers and his pained eyes met hers wild with fear.**_

_**"Wait…p-please…tell me why!?" Maria shook her head, broken sobs wracking her body as tears streaked down her cheeks. Easing the bruised and bleeding man onto the ground, she squeezed his hand before gently freeing her own. Her whispered voice sounded pathetic in her ears as she backed away in the confusion.**_

_**"I'm sorry…I can't… lo lamento... lo lamento tanto. (I'm sorry...I'm so sorry.)"**_

Waking with a start in the darkness, Norman rolled onto his back and stared at Nick's bunk above him. Maria's whimpers faded as she awoke with a gasp and he heard her half rise in displaced confusion. Sheets rustled as Maria lowered herself back onto the bunk and rolled to face the wall. She whispered another sorrowful apology into the dark silence, and Norman found himself responding.

"I know…"

********

**A/N: Dreams are once again in bolded italics and thoughts are plain italics. The English translations to the Spanish are in paranthesis and I used a translation website called "Free Translation Online". I realize the translations I used may not be exact, so I do appologize. The translated words will always be in paranthesis unless someone is actually translating. I realize Maria's sentence may seem very lenient, and to any criminal justice majors/employees, I apologize for any wonkyness in this and future chapters. Constructive critisms are most welcome, as are reviews. Thanks for reading!**

**PS: I'd seen a couple things that felt wonky to me, so feel free to re-read. Just fixing grammar stuff is all, which was very tiny to begin with I know.**

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**Copyright Alissa Franko 2009**


	3. Emotional Rollercoaster

Grabbing another fistful of freshly ground bait, Maria shoved it angrily into the plastic jug and snapped the lid shut. As she turned to cross the pitching deck, she caught Jake's grin and eyed him warily.

"What? Why are you staring at me like that?" Jake hastily licked his lips and turned away, trying unsuccessfully to hide his grin as he watched Maria dive into the waiting pot and secure the bait.

"Stop staring at me…it's creeping me out. Dude, I swear…wait, I know that look. You're gonna prank me, aren't you? You've got the same look that the capitán's brother always got before _he_ went and pulled some stupid shit on someone."

All smiles faded as Maria brought up Edgar, and she bumped into the half-filled sorting table as she felt her face warm suddenly in the frigid air. The buzzer broke through the uneasy silence on deck, sending them into motion once again. Sig's impatient voice echoed over the deck as he lay on the buzzer again.

"What the fuck is holding you guys up? The season's going be to _over_ by the time you girls get done chitchatting out there. Kid, you're gonna have to haul some pretty ass out there…you've got the easiest job you could possibly get!"

Maria's cheeks burned and anger rose in her chest as she struggled not to spit out a scathing retort. With a low growl she stormed across the deck and violently shoveled more bait into the container. Her fresh wave of anger added to her nervous energy and before long she was setting the pace as much as Sig was.

Although it had been nearly thirty-five hours since they last checked their northern most pots by the ice field, his gut intuition had Sig guiding the _Northwestern_ back towards the last known location of those pots. By the end of three full strings and another test string further north, the five weary bodies filed into the ready room for a brief respite from the weather. As Maria closed the hatch behind her, she slid to the ground in exhaustion.

Eyes closed, she heard the crew shed their raingear and settle around the galley table. Unable to muster the energy, Maria remained sitting with her back to the hatch. Hearing her name, she wearily swung her head in Jake's direction with a groaned 'mmm?" Moments before she drifted off her brain registered a whispered count of three and a strange sloshing sound. A curtain of icy water hit Maria from above and she sat bolt upright with a shrill gasp. Eyes wide in shock, she stared up at Jake and Matt who leaned against the walls for support, faces red and clutching their ribs from hard laughter. Jake's laughter subsided enough to help Maria to her feet; leaning in close to her, he whispered into her ear.

"You looked like a fish gasping for air." On impulse, his lips brushed her cheek in a soft kiss as he pulled back and grinned at her dark scowl. He laughed again as she landed a half-hearted punch on his stomach. Maria glowered again and sniffed softly.

"You're lucky you're cute…" Her cheeks burned and she let the sentence drop as Nick, Matt, and Norman laughed into their coffees. Setting his mug down, Matt's eyes glinted mischievously as he glanced between Jake and Maria's retreating form.

"Wow, Junior…wow. That's all I'm gonna say…just, wow." He lapsed into another fit of laughter as Jake, flushing bright red, shot a dark glare at his friend and busied himself in fixing a fresh pot of coffee. Returning to the table, he took off his hat to push back hair threatening to obscure his vision.

After Jake's whisper and ghost of a kiss, Maria hesitated to join the rest of the crew, despite the fact that their attention had moved on from her to Jake. Seizing the moment when Matt turned the joke onto Jake, she slipped into the stateroom. She took a moment to study the room, and shot a glance out into the galley, where she noticed Jake watching her. As he made to rise and join her, she shook her head at the look of concern on his face. Forcing a smile and murmuring something about dry clothes, she gently closed the door and shed the damp clothes. Digging through her bag, she cursed as she realized she had no more dry sweatshirts. Her eyes shot to the drawer where Edgar's clothes remained folded. Hesitation stopped her, but the voices on the other side of the thin door broke that momentary spell.

"Ah mierda. Yo podría también; él no debe usarlo aquí. (Ah, shit. I might as well; he ain't here to use it.)" Kneeling, she dug through the drawer holding Edgar's hoodies and sweats and took out the cleanest looking hoodie. She pulled the crimson colored fabric over her head and she sat back on her heels, lightly stroking the hoodie's hem as fresh guilt washed over her. _It's hard enough when I have to work with his brothers and friends…but I don't know if I should wear this. Capitán_ still_ won't look at me and hardly comes down from the wheelhouse, and Norman rides my ass as hard as the Capitán. The only one who really doesn't act like I'm some rampaging demon from Hell is Jake…_ Maria sighed and reached up to unclasp her grandmother's crucifix; folding her hands around the warm metal Maria closed her eyes, bowed her head, and began to pray.

****

When she failed to return after a few moments, Norman rose and crossed to the stateroom he shared with her, Nick and Jake. Pausing at the door, he heard her softly whispering in rapid Spanish, punctuated by a word or two of Latin. His brows bunched in confusion and he gently opened the door to peer in. Seeing Maria kneeling in the middle of the narrow and cluttered floor, wearing Edgar's favorite hoodie, it took Norman a moment to realize what she was doing. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she whispered fervently; thumb rubbing the cross for comfort as she whispered her prayers for forgiveness and guidance. With a heavy sigh, Maria completed the familiar and comforting ritual and crossed herself.

The door's hinges squeaked softly in Norman's attempt to retreat. She caught Norman's slight wince as she murmured a faint hello. A brief sad smile flashed across his mouth as he nodded, pushing the door open wider as Maria wiped her eyes hastily with a stained sleeve. She barely had time to choke down a mug of coffee before pulling on her still dripping raingear and joined the others on deck.

****

Despite Jake's best efforts to get Maria involved in the conversations and joking, the young woman was silent, sliding further into her sullen mood. In an attempt to get some new footage, the on-deck cameraman began questioning Maria. After the insistent questions were met with silence, Jake glanced up from his corner of the Opilio filled table and with a glance at the ever darkening glare on Maria's face, he called a warning over to the cameraman.

"Peter, I don't think you're going to get an answer. I'd just leave her alone if I were you." As Peter opened his mouth, Maria threw down the plastic jug she was filling and rounded on him, shouting above the wind's roar.

"Get the fuck out of my face, you fucking idiot! Just shut up and stay out of my way!" Peter staggered back at the venom in Maria's outburst, eyes wide with surprise.

"Peter! Stop fucking with the greenhorn already and get out of my crew's way!" Sig's annoyed voice was loud over the hailer. Peter retreated underneath the wheelhouse deck where he felt safer from both nature and crew. As the day progressed, the weather followed the crew's mood and deteriorated quickly into nasty roller coaster waves and flying spray that grew colder the darker it became. Peter watched through the viewfinder as the crew struggled to get the pots hauled and set them back as fast as humanly possible.

Slipping and sliding as the deck pitched violently beneath her feet, Maria struggled to keep up with the frantic pace set by both skipper and crew. Each wave the boat crested sent trailers snaking along the rail and random waves threatened to pull the weary woman with it as the water retreated back into the sea.

Sig grimaced as the boat crashed through the seemingly solid wall of water. Instinctively his hand slammed down on the buzzer to worn his crew of an imminent dousing of frigid seawater. Maria's shrill 'man overboard' preceded the scream of an alarm and slamming of the hatch. The sounds of someone struggling with a survival suit barely reached the skipper's brain as he yelled through the loudhailer for a head count.

"Edg-fuck! Norman! What the fuck is going on down there?! Who the fuck did we loose?!" As he fought to bring the boat about, a glance at the deck monitor revealed Jake, Matt and a suited Maria standing ready at the rail. Sig's heart dropped like a rock when Nick's voice answered, thick with regret.

"Norman…we lost Norman."

**A/N: I've been trying to get the feel back for this story, and I think I've got it now. I promise, any questions regarding the plot will be answered in the next two chapters...well, some questions anyways. Thanks again for reading, and reviews and constructive criticisms are most welcome.**

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Copyright Alissa Franko 2009


	4. Attempting To Communicate

The water around him felt warmer than he thought it would be. The burning in his lungs was matched by the pins and needles piercing his body. He let himself hang in the roiling waters until his survival instinct kicked into action. Struggling to get his limbs to respond, his head and shoulders cleared the water and he sucked down two gulps of air before partially submerging again. Treading water, he waited for the next cresting wave to lift him up and squinted into the darkness for the lights of his family's boat…or any boat. His numbing senses made this difficult and a last conscious thought rolled through his brain before succumbing to the tempting darkness. _At least I'm wearing a life vest..._

"I see him! Straight off the starboard bow!" Sig threw down his window and leaned out to try and get a better view. Maria's shout and pointed arm guided his eyes to a tiny orange speck.

"Capitan! Two o'clock, he's off _your_ two o'clock!" A quick glance down at the deck monitor showed him she was lining herself up with the launcher and a sick feeling rose in his gut. Although the survival suit she wore was a little ill fitting, Sig could still see her tensing up in anticipation of the wave's crest. With no warning, Maria took a flying run up the launcher and cleared the next wave before diving into the water, Sig's shouted curses ringing in her ears.

"Maria! God damn it, NO! FUCK!" Cutting through the frigid water, she surfaced with a gasp of shock before beginning her frantic swim. After an eternity, she reached Norman and wrapped an arm around his chest. He groaned faintly as his head lolled back to rest underneath her chin as she frantically struggled to return to the _Northwestern_.

Backpedaling with one arm through violent seas was an awkward affair, and when she saw Jake lower the life sling, she grabbed it with a grateful sob. She shoved Norman onto the sling, and though she clung to the bright red ring Matt threw for her, she lost her grip twice before Norman cleared the rail. Matt's cussing snapped her back to attention and soon she thudded unceremoniously to the deck. She allowed Jake to help her towards the hatch as Nick and Matt carried Norman to his bunk.

Once inside, Jake and Maria saw Nick disappear up the wheelhouse stairs as they struggled to peel the survival suit from her shivering frame. Moments later Sig thundered down. Pausing long enough to grab Maria by the front of the hoodie she'd borrowed, he ignored both her and Jake's startled shouts as he dragged Maria behind him. Matt jumped back as Sig stormed into the tiny room and pointed at his unconscious brother.

"Heal him. No, don't anyone say _anything!_ You might not have been able to do anything for Edgar-but, but if you heal Norman…" Tears trailed down Sig's ashen face as he struggled to control his emotions. Taking a few deep breaths, the distraught skipper tried again.

"_Try._ Try harder than you did with Edgar… that's all I'm really asking." Features contorted with barely controlled emotion, Sig turned and left a stunned Jake and Matt staring open mouthed at Maria, who stared in shivering shock at Norman. They flinched as Sig poked his head back into the stateroom and added,

"Um…thank you. For bringing my brother back to me."

"You're welcome," Maria whispered to the retreating skipper before slowly, numbly shoving the survival suit from her waist onto the floor. She was vaguely aware of Jake helping her into warm sweatpants as Matt shoved a hovering Peter from the room, muttering softly,

"Make yourself useful and fix everyone coffee. Then make more coffee, 'cause we're all gonna need it."

****

Sitting in the co-captain's chair across from Nick, Sig anxiously bit at his fingernails. Deep in thought, he missed the tear running down his cheek, loosened as his eyes slowly scanned the still heaving horizon. He didn't move as the processor called to push up his offload date, and he barely heard Nick's end of the conversation. Sig sat for hours in his shaken state, jumping as Matt suddenly appeared at his side with a steaming mug of coffee.

Sig sucked in a deep breath, missing the look Matt and Nick shot each other and the shrug Matt gave in response to the unspoken question; scrubbing a hand over his face, he frowned as the dried tears gave way and finally accepted the coffee and sat up straighter in his chair. Anticipating Sig's question, Matt sat on the bench behind the skipper and answered.

"I think he'll be okay. He's woken up a couple times, and he recognizes people and knows where he is. Maria insists he goes to the clinic as soon as possible though. Norm says he's fine, but she doesn't want to take any chances." Matt and Nick watched Sig cautiously, and when he silently rose, Matt followed suit. As Sig descended the stairs, he shot Matt a dark glare before he disappeared from view. Catching the meaning, Matt sat down with eyes widened in an "oh, shit" expression.

Sig paused by the partially opened stateroom door, the galley light stopping at the foot of Edgar's bunk. _It's Maria's bunk for now...but as soon as Ed's back…_ Sig shook his head to rid himself of that thought. As the skipper gently nudged the door open, he heard Maria groan softly and sheets rustle as she propped herself on her elbows. Mussed black hair fell across her forehead and she blinked away the sleep that clogged her eyes. Taking the upturned bucket from near the foot of Norman's bunk, Sig scooted closer to his sleeping brother. The middle Hansen was bundled tightly against the effects of hypothermia, and though sweat beaded on his forehead, his skin still held an unhealthy tinge to it and was cold to the touch. Sig studied his hands while he searched for the right words to say while Maria rolled over to peer from under the covers.

Glancing up at Maria, seeing her timid yet soul-worn look, the skipper smiled kindly. Clearing his throat softly, Sig ran his hands through his hair.

"So, Matt tells me you think he should go to the clinic when we dock. Wait; let me finish. I think you're right, I think Norman should get checked out." Seeing the tears well up in Maria's eyes as she stared at Norman, Sig's fatherly instincts overrode his slowly shrinking dislike of her and he moved over to sit on the edge of the bunk. He reached over to take her hand, and the concern in his eyes deepened as Maria shrank back from the skipper.

"Hey, you had nothing to do with what happened to Norman. That was a freak of nature…a scary-assed freak of nature. Nobody here blames you for Norman going overboard so don't blame yourself. I still need your help with him remember? I need Matt, Jake and Nick to worry about the crab, and I can't take care of him because -"

"He can barely take care of himself…I don't expect him to take care of me." Sig flinched as Norman's raspy voice interrupted and Maria laughed timidly as tears spilled over and darkened the pillowcase she hugged to her chest. She wiped her eyes and sniffled as she sat up. For the first time, Sig noticed the dark shadows beneath her eyes and the hollow look in her gaze.

Not wanting to meet Sig's gaze, Maria played with the ends of her damp hair and sighed. Her lower lip rolled in so she could chew the chapped skin and stared at the floor beneath Sig's worn out sneakers. Taking a deep breath, Maria started to speak when Matt knocked on the door with an apologetic look.

"Nick says we're coming up on our next string, but we also have to go offload in a day. The weather is still shitty, and he wants to know what he should do." Sig looked to Norman, who was slowly drifting back to sleep and nodded to himself as he decided.

"Tell him... we're gonna haul this string. It's gonna be a bitch to haul in time for the offload, especially with Norman out of the game, but I know we can do it. I'll be up in a minute to let him gear up." Turning his gaze to Maria, the skipper's brows furrowed.

"C'mon, Norman still might be sick, but I think he'll be fine for a little while. You can check back on him in between pots, but I don't want you dwelling on what happened to him…or on Edgar. I need your head here, with us, with me. Okay?"

"Can I ever repent for what happened to Edgar?" Sig frowned again and took one of her hands in his. Squeezing gently, he gave her hand a light tug. He flashed a smile, trying not to betray the pain brought surging up when she mentioned his youngest brother.

"You already are…believe me, you already are."

****

Maria sat in the wheelhouse, watching as Sig climbed into the cab of the idling pickup before it disappeared into the early morning fog. Although Nick was left in charge of the boat, Jake volunteered to sit with Maria during the offload while Nick and Matt dealt with the cannery workers.

From the corner of her eye, she watched as Jake absently chewed at the skin peeling around his fingernails and his eyes wandered around the wheelhouse. She smiled as he caught her eye and he returned the smile warmly, letting his hand drop from his mouth. For something to fill the silence, Jake said the first thing that came to mind.

"This is my sixth consecutive season on the _Northwestern_. It feels weird not having Edgar with us…it feels weird having a girl-woman with us too. I think the others are used to having the crew be all guys…but you're growing on us, I think." Maria blushed as Jake struggled to keep from digging himself into a hole he couldn't back out of. Quickly changing the topic, she looked at Jake's profile as he stared out the large windows.

"You're close to him, aren't you? Edgar, I mean." Jake's brows scrunched as he thought on Maria's question a moment before nodding.

"Yeah. I am. He might seem like a jackass, but he's a good guy. He just likes to have fun while he works. He's a lot like Sig too…very anal in the way things get done, but his way of doing things gets them done right the first time. That's why I threw him for a loop when I came on as a greenhorn. I don't think he was used to working with a guy as touchy as I am. I'm too emotional, but I can't help it." A momentary silence fell as they both thought on what Jake had said.

"Jake?"

"Mmm?"

"Why were you nice to me from the very beginning? I mean, everyone else avoided me unless necessary, and even then whatever contact we had was short and to the point." Out of nervous habit, Jake's teeth closed on another loose piece of skin peeling away from his nails as he struggled to answer her question.

"I dunno. I guess I was mad at you at first, like the others. But you did everything you were told without even saying a word…and took their hazing in the same way. It was like you were Sig's perfect robot…you still are. I didn't think it was fair to take my anger out on you. I mean, yeah, you were there and watched as he got jumped and all, but you did make sure Ed got help. Right?" Jake shifted in his seat to get a better look at Maria, whose expression turned painful as she consciously thought about the night when her problems really started.

"Yeah…about that night. My brother and our cousins had seen Edgar in the bar that night…" As she started telling Jake the truth about what happened that night, it was as if a levy had been lifted and the emotions flooded out. She didn't hear Nick, Matt, and the two cameramen join them; only when she finished with her narration did she tear her gaze from the floor at her feet. She paled at the three crewmen's mixed expression, and was grateful for Mark's interruption.

"Shit…Jake do you know how long this camera was on?" All eyes flew to the senior cameraman as Jake's brows furrowed in confusion.

"I don't remember. I thought you turned it off when you went downstairs…two and a half hours ago. Why?" Jake followed Mark's apologetic look to Maria.

"I'm sorry, Maria. I think we just recorded your story…"

****

**A/N: I realize timing and some grammatical issues are still two of a couple things I need to work on, so hopefully by the time this story is finished I'll be much better with both. I keep forgetting to mention that I don't own (nor do I want to) the _Northwestern_, her crew, the rest of the Trident fleet or the greater fishing fleet or the crews' families. Reviews and constructive criticsms are still most welcome, and many thanks to y'all for reading! I appreciate it!**

* * *

Copyright Alissa Franko 2009


	5. Reliving Memories

Watching Maria that evening as they returned to the grounds, Norman poked at the goulash and potatoes Matt had cooked. Although his memory of his near drowning was hazy at best, Sig and the others swore Maria had not hesitated in jumping to his rescue. _Well, I do remember hearing both Sig and Nick chewing her out for pulling a stupid stunt like that. But _why_ would she do something like that, especially when I haven't forgiven her for what happened to Edgar?_

Laughter brought Norman back to the present, and he smiled as he saw Maria had joined the conversation. As Sig descended from his perch in the wheelhouse, Norman frowned at the subtle change in the mood filling the galley.

Exchanging a meaning look with the two cameramen and his three other crewmates, Matt muttered something about taking over the helm and disappeared upstairs. While Sig ate his fill, Mark cleared his throat and slid a disk into his portable DVD player. Cueing up the DVD, the cameraman put the machine in place of the plate Maria took from Sig.

"Hey! I'm not done eating yet! Mark, what the hell is this? Look, you know what I mean, so stop fucking around." Looking between the confused skipper and tense greenhorn, Mark sighed and came clean.

"I accidentally left the wheelhouse camera on when we took Norman to the hospital. Jake and Maria were sitting up there during the offload. You and Norman should watch this…the rest of us heard the entire story, twice. Once when she told it to Jake, and again when she was sleeping. Maria? Maybe you should sit down."

As the young woman joined the others around the small table, Mark pressed play and five pairs of eyes watched Sig and Norman's reactions as Maria and Jake's voices issued from the DVD player. Sig grinned at Jake's description of Maria being his perfect robot, but his smile faded as he watched Maria recount the night Edgar was attacked. Halfway through the narration, silent tears streamed down Maria's cheeks though by the time Sig pressed 'stop' at the recording's end, Maria sat frozen in pained anticipation. Slowly closing the DVD player and staring at the pale woman across from him, the skipper's voice sounded strained as he spoke.

"Is this why Matt volunteered for wheel watch? Because you three _know_ Matt never volunteers for wheel watch." Maria's slow grimace and three nodded heads answered. Taking a deep breath, Maria forced herself to look at the silent men around her; gaze stopping on Sig and Norman, she fought to keep her voice steady.

"I wanted to tell you both in person…I had no idea Mark's camera was on and I didn't mean to tell Jake first. I – I just didn't know how to tell you…especially when you were so angry to begin with. I know I deserve your anger and hate, but…"

"We have every RIGHT to be angry with you Maria! We have every right to _fucking HATE_ you. Look, I'm disappointed in you, I'm angry with you…but I. Don't. Hate. You. And neither does Norman. I don't know about Edgar, so he could hate your guts and want your head." Sighing as he watched the embattled emotions cross Maria's face, Sig frowned and rose.

"Alright. I need time to process this…we all do. I don't want to talk about what's on that DVD until after the season's over…and I sure as hell don't want Discovery getting their hands on it. Nothing of what Maria talked about will leave this boat, understand?" Six heads nodded in silent unison, none wanting to think about what Maria had related. Sig disappeared up the first set of stairs, and before he closed the door to his stateroom, he turned back to gaze down into the galley.

"You should get some sleep. We're going to be hauling some serious ass in a couple hours."

****

_**Draping her thick jacket over the chair's high back, she scowled at Mauricio's complaint. Six sheets to the wind, Mauricio's drunken complaining had gotten them kicked out of the first two bars they'd visited. Now at the third and final bar in town, Maria just wanted to be able to finish a whole can of soda before her brother managed to get them kicked out of this bar too.**_

_**As Mauricio staggered back to the table with Damian, he couldn't keep himself from walking into the tall man heading his way. With a slurred Spanish curse, Mauricio pushed the lean man away from him.**_

_**"Watch where you're going, hijo estúpido de una hembra."**_

_**"Excuse me? Why don't you try running that by me again in English?" The man's friend muttered something about letting the problem drop and heading back to the boat, but Mauricio stepped up to the challenge. His voice thick, and his mind cloudy, he shook off Maria's insistences that he stop and think about what he was doing. Furious, he rounded on his sister with a dangerous glint in his eye and landed a sharp backslap to her cheek.**_

_**"Stay out of this, usted niña estúpida!" Turning back to the fuming man before him, Mauricio sneered.**_

_**"I said, 'watch where you're going, you stupid son of a bitch'. Just because you're one of those famous Hansens doesn't mean you get to go around being all high and mighty to the rest of us." Balling his hands into fists, he stepped up to Edgar and spat at his feet. Stepping back to avoid the phlegm, Edgar's eyes narrowed into a dark look; shrugging off his older friend's hand, he muttered harshly,**_

_**"Back off, Andy. I'm smarter than that…I know when to walk away."**_

**_"Good. Then you know that _now_ would be a good time, right?" Jaw clenching, Edgar nodded and resisted the urge to slam his fist into the drunken man's face. Instead he turned his back and followed Andy out the front door. Pausing long enough to extract a cigarette from the half empty carton in his jacket pocket and light it, he declined a ride back to the docks and waved at Andy's retreating pickup._**

_**Inside the bar, Maria fumed at her elder brother's stupidity. Snatching her jacket from the chair, she threw it on and stalked towards the door. Mauricio grabbed at her arm, jerking her back.**_

_**"Where the fuck do you think **_**you're**_** going?" Maria yanked back and glared at her brother.**_

_**"I'm going home! I shouldn't have come out with you guys tonight…Abuela warned me not to go." Wincing as his palm left her cheek burning and blood trickling from a split in her lip, she fought back a scathing remark and instead ran out the front door with Mauricio's insults flying at her back as he followed behind.**_

_**A glance over her shoulder revealed the five angry men closing the distance she tried putting between them and Maria bolted. Brushing past someone, she lost her balance and landed hard on the damp concrete sidewalk.**_

_**"Hey, you okay? What's up with…?" Edgar's voice trailed off as the young woman shot a glance past him and swore. Turning, he saw the source of her anxiety and firmly planted himself between Maria and her fuming brother. Maria gripped the back of Edgar's jacket and bicep and tugged gently, her pleas thick with fear.**_

_**"Please…just leave. You'll only make things worse. Please, go…go back to your boat or wherever you came from. I can deal with Mauricio and…his friends later. Please..."**_

**_"Maria! You said you were going home...better run along little sister. Don't want you to get _hurt**_**, now do you?" Turning his attention to the man who stood between him and teaching his sister a lesson, Mauricio clenched his hands into fists and sized Edgar up. Their four cousins faned out behind Edgar and Maria; eighteen year old Raul took Maria by the arm, whispering the wisdom of backing away. Tears streamed down Maria's face as she struggled against Raul's arm; watching helplessly as her brother landed the first punch to Edgar's abdomen, she tried to scream out as Edgar's moaned grunt filled the silence. She saw her brother pull his fist back from where it connected with Edgar's stomach and her heart skipped a beat as she stared at his fist. **There's too much blood on his hand....there shouldn't be blood on his hand!_

_**Time slowed for Maria as she witnessed her brother and cousins attacking the outnumbered man; frustration won out over panic and Maria broke loose from Raul's grip. Rushing to Mauricio's side, she grabbed ahold of him and struggled to pull him away from the injured man bleeding on the ground. "Mauricio NO! STOP!"**_

****

"_STOP!_ Mauricio..." Struggling against the sheets that had tangled around her limbs and the memories that flooded her brain, Maria struck out at the hand that had shaken her from her troubled dreams. Sudden light sent pain lancing through her eyes and she jerked up, cracking her forehead against Jake's bunk above her. Rolling from the bunk, she clutched her throbbing forehead and curled into a ball on the floor with a pained moan.

Gathering her up into a protective embrace, Jake glared up at Nick who returned the look with as much venom.

"I knew we shouldn't have had her listen to the video again. Here she was, finally able to sleep when she had the chance, and then we had to make her sit through her confession. _Again_!"

"HEY! Nobody _made_ her do _anything_! She didn't have to sit there and wait for me and Norman to watch her confession. She chose to do that, not us! Mark only suggested she sit…not where." Sig's irritated voice caused the four half asleep bodies to jump. Satisfied he had everyone's attention, he glowered at each person before continuing.

"Now shut up and go back to sleep. We'll be at the grounds before too long and I need you all focused, or you'll _all_ be swimming instead of fishing." Slamming the door behind him, the skipper stalked back into his stateroom and slammed his door before rolling back into bed.

Flicking off the light, Jake felt his way back to where Maria remained sitting on the floor, trembling in fear. He pulled the blanket off her bed and wrapped it around her shoulders as he sat beside her. Hugging her close, he hummed a soothing tune in hopes it helped calm Maria. After a while, her shaking subsided and she turned her head to look at him in the darkness.

"Um, Jake?"

"Mmm? Yeah, Maria?"

"Thanks for the song and hug, but…I think you can let go now."

Maria smiled into the darkness as he awkwardly lifted his arm from her shoulders and helped her rise. Sliding back onto the bunk, she fingered a hole in the large, long pocket on the front of Edgar's hoodie. She listened as Jake climbed back up into his own bunk and stared out into the darkness.

"Jake?"

"Mmm?"

"Thanks."

"For what?" Maria smiled at his sleepy responses.

"For being my friend." A silence fell, broken only by four sets of soft breathing and Maria wondered if Jake had fallen back asleep. She was drifting off to sleep when she heard Jake's whispered response.

"You're welcome."

****

**A/N: I hesitated to reveal anything about what happened, but I figured you waited long enough. **

* * *

Copyright Alissa Franko 2009


	6. A New Understanding

In the days after Norman and Sig watched the footage containing Maria's confession, the young woman retreated back into her silent shell. By the end of ten days, Peter gave up questioning Maria, who refused to answer in anything but silence and Spanish. Although Norman and Jake's knowledge of Spanish was limited, they were kept amused by Maria's responses, and listening to the muttered translations, Nick and Matt's faces held ghosts of smiles.

On a brief break from hauling Matt, Jake and Nick eagerly took advantage of the moment and relaxed with steaming mugs of coffee. They kept an eye on Maria, who was standing near the rail with a distant look in her dark eyes.

The eastern horizon was off the starboard rail with dawn's first light turning the night's darkness into shades of gray. Grays slowly shifted into purples and oranges before the sodium lights were shut down. The gradual change from night into day was perfectly reflected on the unseasonably flat calm of the ocean.

"Pretty isn't it?" Maria flinched and turned towards Matt as he stood next to her. Watching him watch the sun's slow ascent, she nodded.

"Yeah. It is. I haven't watched the sun rise for a long time. Not since the day…" Wincing at the shadow passing over Matt's expression, Maria whispered an apology. Matt shook his head and attempted a reassuring smile.

"Me and Edgar go way back. We've been best friends since junior high. So when Sig told me what happened to him, I was pissed. And then I found out you were coming on to help...shit, I almost quit then and there. I mean, all I knew was that you were there when he got the shit beat out of him, and I didn't understand why you didn't stop it sooner. I heard you tell Jakers about it during the offload…and I wondered how could you just sit there looking so calm? Man, I couldn't understand how you could tell _Jake_ before Sig or Norman…Ed's own _brothers_,' you know? But now…" Matt shrugged and a silence fell between them.

Sig called an end to the break and Maria turned to retreat back to the bait station. Matt caught her by the sleeve and she paused.

"I don't hate you. I want you to know that. I'm just…I-. I miss my friend. We all do. You being here is a constant reminder that he's not. It's been hard on all of us dealing with that."

Maria studied Matt's profile in the early morning light. She struggled to comprehend Matt's revelations, and the sound of the hook sailing through the air broke the spell; Matt turned to help bring in the pot as Maria hurried to refill the bait before the pot was returned to the sea.

****

Dawn's pleasant weather held throughout the day and though the sun was bright, the arctic chill from the north stung through the layers of clothing the fishermen and cameraman wore. Despite the chill, the clear skies renewed Jake's spirits and his good nature was infectious. Peter picked up on the lightened mood and focused his camera on Maria, who stood at the bait station with a filled jug in one hand and a hooked fish in the other. She was watching Jake and Matt working the pot up over the rail and flinched as Peter spoke.

"So…if I ask a question, are you going to answer in Spanish or English?" Glaring sidelong at the balding man, she debated giving him what he wanted. Her annoyance with the persistent man decided for her and she turned back to watching the others as she answered.

"Esto depende de la pregunta. (This depends on the question.)" Peter groaned and rolled his eyes as he panned out to watch the crew dig through the crab. Maria slid into the empty pot and secured the bait, returning Jake's giddy grin before sliding back out. Standing with her back to Nick, her eyes furrowed as Jake and Matt struggled to bite back their laughter. Glimpsing Norman behind the block, she took a step away from Jake and Matt…and closer to Nick. Norman shook his head as he grinned and laughed softly. Nick closed the gap between him and the suspicious young woman, who gasped in shocked surprise as he grabbed the back of her raingear and dumped a fistful of cold bait down her shirts. Maria squirmed and squealed as she grabbed at the back of her jacket and hoodie in a desperate attempt to get the bait out of her clothes.

Finally the bait landed with a faint splat onto the deck and she stood facing the men howling with laughter. She panted with exertion and surprise, eyes wide and mouth open in disbelief that she'd been pranked. Between laughing spasms, Jake managed to breathe out a tease.

"…Fish! You look…like a fish!" The laughter subsided enough for the crab to be counted and the number sent up to Sig. On his way back to his post, Jake slipped on the bait still clinging to the deck. Signaling he was fine, he grinned up at Maria as he accepted her hand. Pulling him to his feet, she grinned back before playfully patting his cheek.

"Usted y tu pescado, Jake." Peter, standing near Norman, whispered softly to the engineer.

"What did she just say?" Norman glanced over with a knowing smile but shook his head with a laugh.

"Hey, Fish! Peter wants to know what you told Jake." Leaning in close to Maria's ear, Jake whispered softly.

"What _did_ you say? I know it was something about fish." Maria pulled away with a mischievous grin before moving back to prepare more bait. As Jake returned to the rail, his eyes lit up as he mentally translated her words. Tossing the hook, the young man enlightened the confused cameraman as he fed the line through the block.

"She said 'usted y tu pescado'. It means 'you and your fish'." Peter's brows furrowed as he struggled to make the connection between Jake's comment about Maria resembling a fish and Maria's about Jake and his fish.

"I don't get it…" Five groans met his confused statement and he lifted a shoulder in a shrug, "What?" Silence met his question and he gave up trying to understand. Standing out of the way, he watched through the camera's viewfinder as the crew went about their work. Although he struggled to focus, he couldn't think of anything to ask the crew that wouldn't piss them off or result in answers spoken in Norwegian or Spanish. By late afternoon Peter's eyes were glassy with boredom and he struggled to focus. Slate gray clouds returned and as dusk began to fall, so did a thin veil of snow.

Towards midnight, Sig switched on the loudhailer and called down to his cold crew, "This should be the last string. _If_ the numbers are what we want, this _should_ be the last string we have before offloading. It's a big if though." He laughed at the crew's reaction, knowing they were muttering darkly about his announcement. Seated in the co-captain's chair, Mark just shook his head with a smile as he turned back to the camera he was trying to salvage. It was one he'd rigged onto the portside shelter near the camera sending the live feed to Sig.

On the deck below, a shivering Peter clenched his teeth together to keep them from rattling. Maria glimpsed the miserable look on his face and grinned as he struggled to keep from violently shaking. Although she recognized the beginning stages of hypothermia, she felt a tinge of pleasure in seeing his suffering. Shaking her head as Nick rapped gently on her forehead, she went into the waiting pot and secured the bait. The pile of crab on the sorting table was a decent pile, and she paused a moment to watch the men sorting through the writhing crustatceans.

Jake glanced up from his corner and saw Maria's pensive look. He smiled to himself, his smile brightening as he caught her eye. A ready laugh slipped past his lips as Nick dug an elbow into his ribs. Another glance showed Maria moving on to refill another few bait sacks and shove hooks through the eye sockets of several fresh fish heads. When she turned back, he was greeted with a genuine smile on her face. Getting the final total for the pot, Jake slid across the deck to call the number up to Sig.

"You like her don't you?" Jake's smile faltered at Peter's question. His eyes narrowed a little before he looked across the deck to see her sliding into the pot and thread the hook up to Matt. Lifting a shoulder uncomfortably, Jake attempted another smile. He watched Maria stumble on the slippery deck and was grateful for an excuse to get away from the annoying cameraman. Moving to her side, he stood between her and Peter.

"What was that all about?" Jake shook his head at Maria's question, ears burning from something other than the frigid air as he repeated Peter's question. Unable to meet Maria's gaze, he fidgeted with his ball cap a moment before returning to the rail. He felt her watching as he threw the hook and pull the pot back to the rail; pulling the last few crab clinging inside the pot's netting, he glanced up to meet her calculating look. Trying his best to smile as she dove into the pot, he focused his eyes on the bait rather than her.

The two youngest crew members settled into an uncomfortable silence as they both considered Peter's question. They lost count of the pots left in the string, and when Sig asked Norman to meet him in the wheelhouse, Jake's smile held more of it's usual good humor. Grinning at Maria, he rubbed his gloved hands together eagerly with a muttered "Finally!"

Mark turned off the wheelhouse cameras while the brothers switched places and Sig left Norman to guide the boat into harbor. Mark let himself out the wheelhouse door with his newly repaired camera in hand and enlisted Maria's help with reconnecting the camera with its mount. The others filed into the galley for a quick bite to eat and a nap before the offload.

From the corner of her eye, Maria watched Peter hover just outside the hatch with his recording camera trained on her and Mark. The older man tapped her on the head and she returned her attention to the task at hand. Taking the tools from him, Maria waited until Mark was back on the rolling deck before approaching the shivering Peter.

"So, how much longer do you think we have left before the season's over?" Maria glared darkly as she shoved open the hatch and entered; shedding her gear she turned to see Mark had placed himself between the two greenhorns. She held her silence long enough to accept two plates of hot food from Jake. Brushing past Peter, she paused on the stairway and glowered.

"Ask Norman, he'll know. Oh, wait. You'll have your camera on…hmm. Guess you'll have to wait and find out like the rest of us." Muttering under her breath, she ascended the stairs and fell silent when she saw Norman's slouch.

Footsteps and faint mutterings brought Norman's head up from the dash phone in his hands. He relaxed a little when he realized it was Maria who broke his solitude. He flashed a quick smile that resembled a grimace as he accepted his plate and hung up the phone. Sliding up into the co-captain's chair, she swiveled around so she could watch the stairwell for unwanted intruders.

"How can you do that? I mean, eat and drive the boat at the same time? Especially in this weather." Norman laughed around his food at Maria's timid question, lifting a shoulder in a shrug.

"It takes practice. Sig and Edgar are better at it, but you didn't hear that from me." Maria grinned and nodded as she shoved another forkful of Matt's cooking into her mouth. They finished eating their meal in silence, which didn't take long for Maria. After a short, awkward silence Nick appeared and handed the two a mug of coffee, laughing as Maria curled around hers to soak up the warmth. Norman laughed into his mug and muttered something about a wasted photographic opportunity. Both men grinned at her sleepy smile. Nick ruffled her hair on his way back to the galley with the plates, gently pushing her head to the side as he left. The minutes dragged by and Maria slowly began to relax.

"I talked with Louise a little bit ago. Right before you came up with the food." Tearing her gaze from the darkness outside, she studied Norman uncertainly.

"How are-I mean how is…um. You know…" Nodding slowly, Norman kept his eyes on the snowy haze limiting his view.

"He's doing better. He was sent home a couple days ago, and if he follows doctors' orders he should be healthy in time to go fishing this fall." Swallowing the last of his coffee he glanced at the half-asleep woman across the wheelhouse. A smile touched his lips again.

"He asked after you today. Wanted to know how you were doing and whether or not we kicked you overboard yet." Another glance had him wincing; not getting the joke intended, Maria's face had drained of it's remaining color and Norman tried again.

"Edgar doesn't hate you. Of course, he might after he finds out you've been using his favorite hoodie but... Fish wait. I was joking. He's _not_ gonna hate you for wearing his hoodie. Look, I need you to bring me another cup of coffee and then you should get some sleep."

Swallowing the last of her now cold coffee, Maria sullenly crossed the wheelhouse to take the mug from Norman's outstretched hand. When his hand closed over her wrist, a sour taste rose from her belly.

"Enough with the damn mood swings already. I know you're still kicking your own ass over Edgar, but he's _fine_. Now that he's home he can take care of himself. So go get the coffee and then go to bed. I'll need your help when we start offloading." Ignoring her confused look, he twirled her around and gave her a gentle push towards the stairs. From the corner of his eye he watched her disappear down the stairs and he sighed with a shake of his head.

Maria descended into a dark galley. She fumbled quietly around until she found the still hot coffee pot with her fingers. Stifling a Spanish curse, she drained the pot into Norman's mug. A muffled cough came from one of the staterooms, causing her to flinch and almost drop the mug. She set Norman's coffee down and dug through the hoodie pocket for her lighter. With it's feeble light she reset the auto-brew timer and, refilling the fresh filter, put the pot back on the burner. She returned upstairs, handed Norman the mug, and retreated back downstairs before he could comment on her burned fingers.

Rushing into the stateroom, she gingerly closed the door before climbing onto her bunk and burrowed under the covers. Curling up around the pillow, her tired mind echoed Peter's question from earlier. _Is Jake starting to crush on me?_ Before she could think too long on the matter, a dreamless sleep fell over the exhausted woman and her aches faded to nothing more than a vague memory.

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**_A/N: This chapter was a struggle to get written. Thanks for sticking with me through this story. It defintely has taken a totally different turn from where I had originally planned it going. Reviews and constructive criticsms are most welcome and appreciated. Thanks to those who've taken the time to send me your feedback._**

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Copyright 2009 by Alissa Franko


	7. Time To Figure

With barely restrained silence and a giddy grin, Sig peered into the forward tank as the processors heaved armloads of squirming crab into the large brailers. He looked over to Maria, whose intense glare followed the workers' and crabs' every move; laughing at her intense glare, he understood Norman's idea. When his brother had approached him with the idea of putting Maria on weights, the skipper's initial reaction was to refuse. There were a number of cannery workers Sig didn't trust, two of which were loading the brailer under Maria's watchful eye. Trusting Matt and Nick to watch over her from the deck, the skipper reluctantly went about business both on and off the boat.

Hours later, as the offloading was drawing to an end, Sig rejoined his crew on the deck and was impressed by Maria's keen focus, despite her apparent fatigue and discomfort in the cold predawn air. Every so often the two Hispanic men tried engaging the greenhorn in idle conversation. Without tearing her gaze from the tank, the young woman responded with a business like tone. Sig heard the tense undertone in her rapid Spanish as she caught one of the men tossing a dead crab atop the quickly filling brailer.

Catching the dead crab the young man chucked at her, Maria fought the urge to spit in his eye. Instead, she continued to carefully watch the loading. Once full, Maria wrote down the weight as the load was hauled from the tank. Taking advantage of the lull, Sig lit another cigarette and exhaled deeply.

"How's it going out here? They're not giving you any trouble, are they?" Although the blond skipper's nod indicated all four workers, Maria caught his meaning and shook her head.

"No, but if they do, I'll let you know." As the last empty brailer was lowered into the tank, the shorter of the Hispanic men muttered darkly to his friend. Eyes flashing, Maria answered sharply; her hands balling up reflexively, she flinched as Sig's hand on her shoulder restrained her from jumping into the tank. Snatching the clipboard from Maria's grip, he held it out for Nick to take. The skipper then turned his back to the tank as he whispered to the young woman,

"Matt and Nick are on the other side watching them, so I want you to look at me. Is what he said worth punching his face in?" Holding Maria's gaze, he saw her eyes glistening as she struggled to explain her anger.

"Pasco…he questioned my loyalty to my family…he questioned my honor. He knows what happened…everyone in the family knows. Pasco thinks I dishonored my family when I turned my brother and cousins in to the cops. He thinks I turned traitor on my family when I testified against them…that I abandoned my mother and Abuela when I came to work for you." As Pasco yelled at her in rapid Spanish, a dark shadow passed over her face before the color drained from her skin and she turned her face towards the sea. The tone in Sig's voice brought her head around as she fought back the tears. Following him inside, she slid behind the galley table; she studied her cold-chapped fingers as the sounds of Sig filling two mugs with the ever-present coffee filled the relative silence.

Sig sat across from her, pressing a stained mug into her hands and watched as she wiped a drop of coffee sliding down the white ceramic. Taking a sip, he let the silence drag until she said something. The skipper watched her squirm uncomfortably, alternately drinking the coffee and swirling the dark liquid in small circles. Finally, Sig's impatience won out and, draining the last of his coffee, slammed the black mug onto the table between them. Eyes flashing, he glared fiercely at the startled young woman.

"_Enough_! Enough with your self-pity, self-loathing _bullshit_! I've had it up to _here_ with your _stupid _guilty looks and pissing and moaning about how your brother and his _stupid_ friends blame _you_ for _their_ fucked up mistakes." Turning his glare to the mug before him, he sneered as he continued.

"If anyone should be dishonored, it _should_ be _them_. _You_ did the honorable thing…_you_ did the _right_ thing. You have more balls…_and_ honor… than all of them combined. So quit being so damned pitiful and _get over it_ already!"

"They're finished offloading and Norm went to get the final count…you wanna know what we came up with?" Maria jumped at Matt's unexpected voice and fumbled with her coffee mug as Sig slid off the bench so his three deckhands could sit down. Jake, laden with two boxes and a small sailcloth bag of letters, unceremoniously dumped the boxes on the table. While Nick and Matt worked together to add the weights totals with the _Northwestern_'s two calculators, Sig watched as Maria rose and took her time refilling her mug. When she returned, Matt passed her the clipboard with a grumbled "here, you do it."

Maria set her mug down and snatched the pencil tucked behind Sig's ear before sitting. Running her pencil down the columns, she jotted down each number as she worked; her mouth moved silently as she mentally tallied the numbers. As she added the column totals, she closed her eyes with furrowed brows. Writing the sum down in a blank spot on the paper, she circled it and slid it through the growing pile of goodies Jake stacked upon the table so Nick could check her total.

"I think that's right, but I might be off." Nick's brows rose as he twisted the handheld calculator around so she could see his result. Matt laughed as she squinted and pulled the calculator closer, his voice reaching high-pitched tone as he mimicked her words.

"'I might be off' my ass. How the hell can you add all that up in your head?" Maria smirked proudly into her mug as she drained the last of her coffee. She avoided Matt's question by asking another and returned Nick's calculator.

"What'd you guys come up with?" Nick combined all three totals and passed the calculator to Sig, who whistled softly. The skipper wrote the combined total onto a sheet of paper before collecting the pages and left to finish up at the processor's office.

Returning a short while later, Sig lifted the official results towards the crew sorting through their stacks of mail.

"Damn we're good!" He laughed as Maria snatched the paper from Sig's hand and stared at the total pounds offloaded. Tugging gently, he pulled the paper from her shocked grip and ruffled her hair. Maria's expression of disbelief as the efforts of the past week and a half was summed up on a piece of paper had all five men grinning. On his way up to the wheelhouse, Norman winked at Maria.

"Feels pretty good to see the result of your hard work, don't it Fish?" Maria could only answer Norman's question with a speechless nod. Her crewmates laughed and she hid her embarrassment behind a large yawn. The others laughed again and Sig jerked his head toward the stateroom.

"You should get some sleep while you can. We'll be on the grounds again before you know it." Watching Maria rise and follow Nick into their stateroom while Matt disappeared into the one next door, the skipper missed Jake slipping an envelope into the pocket of his navy hoodie before falling in behind Maria.

Stumbling in her weariness, she felt strong arms steady her from behind. She looked over her shoulder at Jake's murmured concern and smiled reassuringly. Looking past Jake, she caught the unreadable look on the skipper's face. Her smile faltered and she forced herself to look away, fingering the patch she'd found time to sew onto Edgar's hoodie as she sat on the edge of her bunk.

_Nothing's going to happen between me and Jake. I won't let it. Besides…when we're done fishing, I'm gonna be stuck at Mother's house until they figure out how I'm supposed to finish working off my community service. It's not like he'll have time to date me anyways._

Not bothering to change, Maria kicked off her boots and curled up under the sheets with her back to the room. Murmuring a soft response to Jake's ritual 'sweet dreams', she sighed and closed her eyes. As the lights were flipped off, she fingered the crucifix still about her neck and drifted into an uneasy sleep. Hours later, as Sig reclaimed his place at the helm and Norman returned to his bunk, Maria's restlessness began to fade.

In the darkness above the shifting greenhorn, Jake pulled the letter from his hoodie. He stared at it through the dark, hesitation and guilt gnawing at his conscious. Chewing his lower lip as he made up his mind, the young man rolled over and dug out the small flashlight from his pillowcase and slid a finger under the envelope's sealed flap to pull out the letters. The top one was addressed to him in English while the one behind it bore Maria's name. Reading quickly through his letter, Jake focused his attention on Maria's. It was written in a neatly flowing Spanish script and his brows furrowed in concentration. Taking his time to translate the letter, he reread it until he was certain of the contents.

Six hours later when Nick stood at his nephew's shoulder to wake him, he frowned at the sound of paper crumpling. He slid the crumpled letter from under Jake's cheek and the young man flinched at the sudden movement. As he turned his sleepy gaze to Nick, he came awake as he watched Nick scan the letter addressed to the younger man. Catching the questioning look on his uncle's face, Jake grimaced at the one Nick voiced as he held up Maria's letter.

"Doing some late night reading? Dammit, Jake, you know better."

"Please don't tell her. We're on a roll out here and that letter'll just kill her. I'll give it to her, I promise…" The wadded letter bounced off Jake's nose as Nick vented his distaste in his nephew's behavior.

"And when will that be, Jake, after the season's over? By then it'll be too late. She needs to get this letter – and the sooner she gets it, the better it'll be for _everyone_." A clearing throat behind Nick had Jake shoving both letters under his pillow and jumping down from his bunk in an instant. Norman narrowed his eyes in confusion, but let the matter drop as he saw the dirty look Nick shot at Jake.

"Speaking of late, Sig's pissed you're not already on deck. Save this little family meeting for later and get to work." Nick shouldered his way past Norman and as Jake went to move past the deckhand-turned deckboss, Norman blocked his path.

"Nick's right. First chance you get, you need to give her the letter. Or I will, understand?" Jake's face paled at Norman's promise and nodded silently. The older man pushed away from the doorframe in a manner identical to Edgar's and Jake found himself once again missing his mentor. He shook his head to clear the cobwebs and suited up. As he struggled to secure the hatch, the youngest deckhand grimaced at Sig's sarcastic greeting.

"Glad you could join us, _Junior_. Now hurry up before you miss the fucking pot."

Peering into the shadowy half-light of dusk, Jake sized up the strength needed to nail the pot and let the hook sail through the air. Even as the hook landed with a muffled smack between the buoys, Jake was pulling in the slack line. With the routine motions of hauling gear crowding out all thoughts, the young man sighed heavily.

Matt stood on the other side of the raising pot, helping his friend to guide the metal and mesh pot onto the block. The lack of Jake's usual cheeriness, especially when luck and Sig's skill landed them back on the crab, felt out of place…and wrong. Pulling the last crab from the mesh, he stepped aside as Maria arrived to rebait the pot and understanding narrowed his eyes.

Where once Jake couldn't take his eyes from the _Northwestern_'s first and only female greenhorn, the young man took one glance at her and guilt filled his eyes as he turned away. In the mere moments it took for the pot to be baited and returned to the ocean, everyone on deck knew his heart wasn't in the work. Maria placed herself by Jake as she assisted the sorting and kept glancing at him from the corner of her eye. His unusual silence perturbed her; his inability to meet her eye saddened her. Every attempt to engage Jake in conversation was met with resistance and by the end of the string her patience was running thin.

On the run to their next string, Maria deliberately sat next to Jake and rested her head on his shoulder. Closing her eyes against the stinging tears as she felt him tense beneath her cheek, she sighed and straightened. Her eyes opened as Jake's hand slipped into her own with an apologetic squeeze. She forced a smile as she met his gaze, faltering as he weakly returned the gesture.

"¿Jake, qué se equivoca? Por favor, dígame. (Jake, what's wrong? Please, tell me.) Jake…wait…" Tears stung her eyes again as Jake pulled his hand from hers and disappeared around the corner towards the galley. Drawing her knees to her chest, she wrapped her arms tightly around them and buried her face against the sea-soaked slickers. Her shoulders shook with silent sobs as she mentally cursed herself. Feeling a hand rub her back, she turned to look at Nick sitting next to her.

Nick winced at the hurt in Maria's dark eyes. Unable to do anything else, he continued to rub her back comfortingly as the tears slid down her cheeks. Uneasy in the awkward silence, Norman and Matt retreated to the galley for coffee. Nick remained silent for a moment before clearing his throat and returning his hand to his lap. Maria sniffled and bit back the remaining tears. She peeled off a glove and scrubbed the tears from her cheeks; resting her chin on her knees, she stared unseeing at the block before her. Nick debated on telling Maria about the letter Jake had kept from her, but decided it was ultimately Jake's responsibility. Instead, he settled for another reason for his nephew's odd behavior.

"Fish, Jake gets moody sometimes. He says it's because of his sisters, but…look. He didn't mean to hurt you. I think he's just trying to figure you out. Heck, we're _all_ trying to figure you out. Give Jakers some time; he'll come around." A shadow of a smile twitched at her lips as she sniffled again.

"After all we've been through in the month we've known each other…you're _still_ trying to figure me out?"

"Hey, you're not the easiest girl to figure out, y'know. _Emmie's_ easier to figure out than you are." Maria laughed despite her hurt and looked at Nick.

"Yeah, well…Emmie's _four_, Nick. Just wait until she gets older." Nick shuddered at the thought and held up his hands as if to ward off the thought of his daughter growing up. They both laughed at his 'don't even go there' and by the time Matt returned with a mug of coffee for each, Maria's tears were dried and her spirits on the mend. Taking a sip of the scalding liquid before setting it down in the storage room, she watched with a faint smile as Jake took up his place at the rail.

_Give him some time to figure me out, huh? I guess I can do that._

**A/N: I've been taking some time away from this story, but I'm back working on it. Slowly but surely it's coming back to where I want it to go. The story's almost finished now...a couple more chapters are all that's left. Any questions, reviews, and constructive criticisms are most welcome.**

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Story Copyrighted Alissa Franko 2009-2010


	8. The Price of Forgiveness

"Where the fuck did this come from? How long have you had it? _Why didn't you let me know you had it?_" Maria slammed the crumpled letter on the galley table in front of Jake's plate. His eyes were wide with surprise as the color drained from his face. He caught Norman's warning look and Nick's shrug all but screamed 'I told you so'.

"I…it came with the letter your…mom sent me. I was worried that if you read it you would leave and–" Maria slammed her palm down on the table, her face twisted with anger and frustration.

"Of course I'd leave! The fucking bastard _killed Abuela_! How can I not go back? _How could you keep this from me?_" Jake reached out and took her hand, flinching as she pulled away. He swallowed hard to keep his vision from swimming with tears. His temper flared as Maria screamed her last question again in the heavy silence.

"I was afraid he'd hurt you too! I was afraid he'd _kill you!_ If you go home now, I'm afraid I won't see you again. I'm sorry I kept it from you…I only wanted to keep you safe! Maria, please!" Following her to the stateroom, he banged a fist against the door as it slammed in his face.

"If you go home, he'll kill you too and you know it! Maria, dammit!" Slamming his fist against the door again, he groaned and buried his face in his hands as he slid to a sitting position by the door, not wanting to meet the silently disapproving looks he knew the others had written across their faces.

Pacing the narrow walkway between the bunks, Maria stumbled as the boat crashed through another rough wave. She bit back a curse and, fixing the ceiling a foul glare, she vented her pent up feelings on the bedding. Sheets, sleeping bags and pillows pooled around her feet and she sank to her knees. Squeezing eyes shut against the burning tears, she shifted her weight and pulled her knees to her chest.

As she sobbed into her arms, she missed the door opening and flinched as strong arms enveloped her. She halfheartedly tried pulling away from Jake, but his lips pressing against the top of her head had fresh tears flowing.

He held her close as she cried, her tears of anger turning to those of grief. As the tears stopped, she murmured something about cleaning her mess. With Jake's help, she lost herself in the task of cleaning. She straightened from making up her bunk and took a deep breath before following him out into the galley, where the others were filing out onto deck.

Silence filled the workspace as they fell back into their routine of hauling gear. A light snowfall dusted crew and equipment alike as the first pot was hauled and emptied. As the baited pot hit the ocean, Maria brushed gently past Jake on her way back to the bait station. Unable to meet his eye she stiffened as Jake called after her.

"Maria, I – lo siento. (I'm sorry.)"

"Me too." Her voice barely carried over the sound of the waves and equipment as she busied herself with readying the bait to avoid meeting Jake's gaze.

"Oh, for crying out loud! Will you two just kiss and make up already?" Sig's voice boomed down through the muffled quiet. Fighting a smile as she climbed into the next pot to rebait it, she shouted up a weary, half-sarcastic "roger!" Two moments later, as she stood between Jake and Matt at the table, Sig was on the hailer again.

"Well?" Maria stared up at the deck camera in confusion.

"'Well' what?"

"You only did half of what I asked…what happened to the kiss?" Impudently, Maria puckered her lips and blew a kiss towards the wheelhouse. Sig's laughter joined the others' as he replied.

"That's not what I meant and you – _damn_ Junior!"

Maria's eyes widened and she stiffened as Jake gently cupped her cheeks with both hands and placed a hesitant kiss to her mouth. The world disappeared from around her and she gripped the front of his slicker for support.

Although the kiss only lasted a few heartbeats, as Jake pulled away it felt like more than an hour. His heart thudded against his ribs as he stared at Maria's open-mouthed surprise. A shy smile brightened his face as he murmured.

"You remind me of a fish." Relief eased his features as she smirked and turned back to the bait bin. He wrapped his arms around her in a gentle bear hug and whispered softly into her ear as the men behind them laughed.

"Maria? I found a fish I like, and I don't want to loose her and…Maria, can I keep my fish? Please?" Maria turned around in his arms and smiled sadly.

"I don't know. It…it's complicated. I want to say yes, but…" She hesitated with a glance at Peter and his ever-present camera. Jake stepped between her and Peter, raising his brows encouragingly as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Taking a breath, Maria turned back to the bait bin and began shoveling bait into the containers while Jake returned to the rail and snagged the next pot. Above the sound of the block, Maria continued.

"I'm afraid, Jake." Jake frowned as he helped guide the pot to the launcher.

"Afraid of what?"

"The future, my brother, Pasco…of what they'll do to you," she paused as tears stung her eyes and she silently secured the bait before returning to the table. She struggled to gather her thoughts. _I'm afraid I'll loose you too, and I don't want to loose you either._

"We put another two strings into this boat, and then we're heading home!"

"Are you sure we have room for two entire strings? I mean…we've got thirty pots left out there. And it looks pretty full down there."

Sig grinned down at Maria as she came to stand by him and peer into the round porthole; the skeptical look crossing Maria's face had the skipper laughing. He shoved his hands into his pockets as he retreated across the deck for the wheelhouse's warmth, calling over his shoulder as he went,

"If they don't, we'll _make_ 'em fit!" Maria watched the skipper disappear into the wheelhouse and glanced around the deck with a raised eyebrow. Returning to the shelter, she huddled into the corner between Norman and Jake for warmth while Nick secured the small hatch. As she leaned back against the wall, her eyes drifted closed. Since the day she'd openly expressed her fears, she felt more at ease with her crewmates. Feeling Jake's hand close around hers, she smiled and opened her eyes. She watched the men laughing and joking with each other and found herself laughing along.

"Don't delude yourself, Capitan. There are only a handful of boats in the entire _fleet_ that have women on board, and she's the only Mexican. Even if she isn't out fishing, we know where to find her. She's from a big family in a tiny community. We don't _have_ to look for her, we already know where she is."

"That doesn't answer my other question. What do you want with Maria?" Sig growled. Pasco lifted a shoulder in a nonchalant shrug and dug out an unsealed envelope from the back pocket of his faded and stained jeans. The white paper was unmarked save for 'Maria' scrawled across the folded envelope.

"Just to make sure my cousin gets this letter from Mauricio."

Holding his hand out, Sig's dark eyes glowered at the younger man across the rail from him.

"Give it to me, I'll make sure she gets it."

"No. I want to give it to her myself. She doesn't have to step off your boat either…I'll just hand it over the railing." Sig shook his head, hand still outstretched and waiting for the envelope.

"My boat, my greenhorn, my rules. Take it or leave it." Dark blue eyes met and held deep browns in a battle of wills. Pasco was the first to look away and he handed up the letter. Sig turned on his heel and stalked back towards the wheelhouse ladders, tucking the letter into his back pocket for safekeeping. Muttering dark Norwegian curses, Sig slammed the wheelhouse door behind him and stalked down the stairs into the galley. Yanking the letter from his back pocket, the skipper flung it at Maria.

Eyes wide with surprise, Maria fumbled with the letter and stared as Sig retreated back up the stairs. Pulling out the letter, she quickly read Mauricio's neat handwriting. The color drained from her face as she reread her brother's letter once more, dark eyes slowly scanning the neat words for any mistake. Finished, she folded the letter and slid it back into the envelope. She lay it on the table and wiped shaking hands on her thighs, her breath coming quickly as she struggled to fight the panic rising in her chest.

The sound of Sig pacing overhead brought Jake out from the stateroom where he was cleaning, and he jerked his head upward in confusion.

"What's got him…'Ria what's wrong?" His brows furrowed in worry and he leaned the mop against the wall to wrap his arms around her in a comforting embrace. The muffled sound of his rapid heartbeat brought tears to her eyes. Sniffling, she pulled away to meet his concerned gaze.

"He's been released. Mauricio's been released from prison, and…and he's on his way here. To Dutch Harbor." Taking Maria's hand and snatching the letter from the table, Jake started to lead her to the wheelhouse stairs.

"C'mon, we're telling Sig. We won't let your brother or your cousins hurt you." A sudden crashing and the sound of Sig swearing preceded a heavy thump. Silence descended, rooting Maria to the spot in frozen fear. Footsteps on the stairs spurred Jake into action; shoving Maria into their stateroom, he crossed into the galley in a handful of long strides. His eyes settled onto the knife still drying on the counter and the moment his fingers curled around the handle, he felt rough hands jerking him backwards.

"Where is she? Where the fuck is that little whore?" Jake spun around, swinging the knife at Pasco as he moved. Face darkened with anger, Jake shook his head.

"I don't know who you're talking about. Whores aren't allowed on this boat, and neither are you!" Pasco's hand jerked out in rage and caught Jake's wrist in mid swing. Jake bit back a scream of pain as his wrist cracked, the knife clattering to the floor from his throbbing hand. Pasco used the moment to drive his fist into Jake's ribs and his knee into the young man's gut. Jake doubled over, coughing as he retched from pain. Pasco grabbed a fistful of Jake's hair and yanked his head back.

"I'll ask one last time. _WHERE IS SHE?_" Jake sneered up at the burly man and shook his head. With his broken hand clutching his bruised and broken ribs, he managed to hold Pasco's gaze as his left hand searched blindly for the knife. Pasco shook Jake again, spittle flying in his blind rage as Jake shook his head again. Trembling fingers found the hilt before Pasco realized what he was doing and shoved the young man away from him. Jake slumped against the stateroom wall, knife sliding from his grip and clattered against the baseboard near the wheelhouse stairs. Pasco landed two firm kicks to Jake's ribs before he managed to scuttle away.

A blur sailed over Jake's head, hitting Pasco with an awkward _thock_. A sneaker bounced at Jake's feet as another several blurs sailed by to smack Pasco's head. Books, magazines, and wadded socks followed the shoes, creating a swath of treacherous footing at Jake's feet. Although individual words failed to register, Maria's shrill voice broke through Jake's pain clouded mind, and he peered up through thick bangs. The look of pure terror on her face broke his heart more than her screaming, and he spoke through clenched teeth.

"No! Maria, please…" Pasco sneered down at Jake as he stepped over him, pausing long enough to spit in his face and laugh. Grabbing Maria by the base of her long braid, Pasco shoved Maria towards the ready room. Jake remain curled around his tender torso, gritting his teeth against the pain of his injuries. Barely a moment passed before he forced himself to rise against the blinding pain and stagger out onto deck. He let his momentum carry him into Pasco; tackling the larger man, Jake drove his deck knife into the man's throat. With a muted _thunk_, the knife blade lodged into the wooden planks beneath, painfully jarring Jake's broken hand and wrist. The force of his tackle sent him rolling halfway across the deck. Scrambling back, Jake jerked the knife loose of the deck boards and blood spurted in thick jets as Jake fell back. Severing the base of Maria's thick braid from Pasco's tight death grip and helping her rise, Jake gently pulled her away from the prone man.

In her panic, Maria slipped free of Jake's grip, and descended upon Pasco, landing strong kicks to his ribs. She screeched incoherently at the dying man as she attacked him; Jake limped up to her and, slipping a gentle hand about her waist, pulled her away from the gasping man. Rounding on Jake, she landed a couple strong fists to his chest before leaning into him, body racked with sobs. He held her in a loving embrace before cupping her cheeks in his bloody hands. Looking into her teary eyes, he pushed her towards the wheelhouse ladder.

"Help Sig! And call for help!" Although his words were forced and pained, Maria stumbled away and clambered up the slick ladder, disappearing into the wheelhouse in moments. Relieved, Jake turned his attention to Pasco, who lay clutching his throat. Breath bubbled in a bloody froth as the man struggled to cling to life. Staggering back, Jake's heel caught on the launcher and he fell to the deck with a heavy thump. As he leaned against the coiler for support, he groaned against the pain searing his body with each breath and sweat beaded across his forehead despite the afternoon's chill. Unable to tear his gaze from the dying man before him, Jake's face twisted in anger.

"He's not coming is he? Her brother…he's not coming." Pasco gave a wet, sickening laugh and his head rolled in response.

"No. The stupid bastard got caught robbing a grocery store in Soldotna. He tried fighting his way out but…" For a moment the only sound was the thick, wet rasping of Pasco's breath escaping through the ragged hole in his throat.

"But he got himself pumped full of slugs…" Pasco finally managed breathlessly. Jake sat staring as Pasco's labored breathing once again filled the silence. Shortly, the only sounds left was that of the waves lapping the _Northwestern_'s hull and the occasional bald eagle, raven and flock of seagulls. In his shock, Jake succumbed to the pain and lost consciousness.

Flinching, he grimaced as he felt hands smacking his cheeks. He blinked owlishly, struggling to focus on the face before him. Slowly Maria's pale, terrified features came into focus, Matt and Nick hovering nervously behind her. The two men were conversing softly, and, twisting his head, Jake followed their nods towards the wheelhouse. His eyes widened and he made to rise. Sinking back down with a pained groan, he sucked in breath through clenched teeth. The pain slowly subsided, and he met Maria's anxious look.

"Sig?" Maria's features relaxed slightly and she nodded.

"The clinic's physician and his assistant are with him right now. They say he's got a concussion, but he'll be fine. One of them will be down in a moment to check on you."

"Maria…they're here." Matt's soft voice brought both their heads turning and Maria stepped away to let Akutan's physician examine Jake. After a few moments Jake was strapped to a backboard and, with Matt and Nick's help, carried off to the waiting ambulance. Norman stood next to Maria and watched as the ambulance drove away, flashing lights and blaring sirens fading into the distance.

"C'mon Fish. Lets get our jackets and Sig so we can meet them at the clinic." For the second time in her life, Maria found herself pressed against the passenger door of Norman's truck. Her left hand lay limp on the seat between them and Norman gently covered it with his. He heard her suck in a breath sharply, and glanced over. Forcing a half-hearted smile, Norman tried reassuring her.

"He's a strong kid. Before you know it, he'll be back to his usual goofy self." Momentarily meeting his look, she nodded and flashed a smile as a companionable silence fell. As Norman killed the truck's engine, Maria whispering his name stopped him from sliding out. Concern creasing his brow and filling his eyes, he relaxed when he saw her thoughtful smile.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For giving me a chance to redeem myself…and – and for forgiving me." Norman's face lit up as he grinned and laughed softly. Patting her hand, he shook his head.

"You're welcome. C'mon. Your boyfriend is waiting." Walking up to the clinic's front doors with his arm around her shoulders and she leaning into his embrace, they grinned at the nurse's surprised stare. Pointing down the hallway to the left, the woman stared after Norman and Maria. Another nurse stood by her side and, exchanging a stunned look, murmured softly to herself.

"Well, I'll be damned. I think they're friends."


	9. Welcome To The Family

Sitting in the back of Sig's truck with Jake at her side, Norman in the front passenger seat, Maria stared anxiously out the side window of the Toyota extended-cab 4x4. It had been nearly three months since she last saw Edgar, flat on his back in the hospital back in Anchorage. Although hard work, fatigue, and two near losses had pushed the youngest Hansen to the back of her mind, the drive through Seattle's suburbs revived the suppressed memories.

Jake watched Maria struggle with her emotions and memories. Twining his fingers with hers, he rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. He smiled as she tightened her grip gently on his hand, her free hand toying with the shortened ends of her hair. Half pulled back into a loose bun that was held in place by two chopsticks, the remaining hair brushed her tense shoulders. He was surprised by how fast her hair grew out; it seemed like only yesterday that he'd taken the knife to her long hair in their scuffle with Pasco. A pothole jolted both from their memories and Jake bit back a grunt of pain.

Two and a half weeks had passed since he'd fought Pasco, and though his injuries were quickly on the mend, Jake's hip, ribs, right hand and wrist were still tender. Shooting a half-hearted glare at Sig, Jake smiled at Maria's look of concern.

"He did that on purpose." Both saw Sig grinning into the rearview mirror and laughed as the skipper pulled into Edgar's driveway. Sliding out of the truck, Maria closed both doors and paused by the front bumper of the Tundra. Jake took her hand again and met her nervous gaze. He smiled as he led her towards his mentor and friend's back yard. Holding the oak gate open for her, Jake closed it behind himself and guided Maria to the hardwood deck.

Two dogs, a golden retriever and a black lab, bounded over to energetically greet the young man they remembered and the stranger they had yet to meet. Eyes wide with fear, Maria clung to Jake for protection from the onslaught of canine affection.

"You never told me he had dogs…you _know_ I'm afrai – that I don't like dogs," she whispered hoarsely. Jake's grin turned apologetic and he wrapped a restraining arm around each dog's neck. The golden retriever smothered Jake's face with wet licks and Maria smiled hesitantly.

"The Golden Retriever is Dixie and the lab is Shaddow. They're big lovers, really, and they _love_ company." Maria looked from both dogs, whining and wriggling as they struggled to shower her with hellos, to Jake struggling to restrain them. She shot a glance at Louise and Sig hurrying to take Dixie and Shaddow from Jake's grip, and reached out a hesitant hand to each dog. Their bodies wriggled harder in excitement and their tongues snaked out to lick tenderly at her fingers. She flinched at the touch, pulling away as Louise secured leashes to the dogs' collars.

"Did they hurt you? I'm sorry they rushed you like that. They've always been fond of Jake. Sig, will you put them in the run please?" Maria shook her head, eyes glued to the happily prancing dogs Sig led to the dog run across the spacious yard. She wiped sweaty palms across the thighs of her jeans, drawing in a shaky breath as Jake wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Unsettled by Maria's reaction to the dogs, Louise studied the young woman a moment. She watched as Jake placed a reassuring kiss to Maria's temple, her hesitation melting and she held out a hand.

"I'm sorry we didn't meet like this the first time. I'm Louise. The kids are inside with their cousins." Maria accepted Louise's hand with a shy, uncertain smile. She whispered her name, quietly thanking Louise for inviting her over. Following Louise and Jake to the deck, Maria gazed around herself. Norman, Matt, and Edgar were seated around the deck table laughing at some story Matt told. They fell silent as Louise approached with Jake and Maria. Sig joined the group, wiping his slobbery hands off on his jeans before pulling around two more chairs. Jake motioned for Maria to sit in the chair across from Edgar before gingerly claiming his own.

Noting Maria's distracted look, Edgar cleared his throat softly. He smiled as she flinched and turned her attention back to him.

"You want a beer or something? We have water and iced tea, too, if you want."

"Um, water's fine, thank you." Louise disappeared inside momentarily, returning with a glass of water for Maria and an iced tea for Jake. Smiling at the young couple, Louise included the others with a look.

"Dinner'll be ready in twenty minutes." Waiting for Louise to return inside, Edgar turned his attention to Maria. Studying her downcast features, with a hand entwined with Jake's, he let the silence drag a moment before speaking softly.

"I heard about your grandmother…I'm sorry. It's rough loosing someone you love when you're out fishing; we all know your pain. But I'm glad you were with Sig and the crew…damn glad." Maria looked up with a faint smile, her haunted eyes meeting Edgar's look; unable to hold his gaze, she glanced at the others for help. Taking comfort from their silent nods of agreement, she met Edgar's look again.

"Thank you. Me too…glad I mean." Sipping on her water, she shifted uneasily in her chair as the others picked up the conversation where she let it drop. Her mind wandered as the conversation ranged from the prices of fuel and bait to the kids' school and a variety of other topics. She found herself watching the dogs pacing back and forth in the run; the golden retriever caught the young woman watching her and honey colored ears perked forward as the dog adopted a pleading look to match her whine.

"Dixie! Jesus, what's gotten into that dog?" Edgar winced as he turned in his deck chair to look at the run. At his raised voice, Dixie laid flat on her belly, paws folded under her chest and a sorrowful look upon her face. Chocolate eyes begged for her freedom from across the yard. Edgar glanced back at the tense looking young woman across from him and he understood.

"Dixie's the sweetest dope you'll ever meet. Maybe after dinner you and Jake would like to take her for a walk?" Maria relaxed again at Edgar's attempt to ease her fears and lifted her shoulder in a hesitant shrug.

"Thanks…but maybe another time. If that's okay?" Jake overheard and brushed loose strands of hair from Maria's cheek while Edgar agreed. Jake's ears turned red at Edgar's grin, though the moment was broken as Louise stepped outside.

"Dinner's ready, boys." The fishermen rose, waiting as Sig helped Edgar to his feet and Norman handed him the crutches. Noticing one of the dishes was a favorite, Sig's eyes light up and embraced Louise in a one armed embrace before setting Edgar's crutches on the floor. "Salted cod…perfect!"

Laughter filled the room as they sat, growing stronger as Maria feigned a gag at Sig's expense. The skipper momentarily adopted a hurt look before gently squeezing her shoulder. As the meal progressed, Maria became more relaxed in Edgar and Louise's presence. When they went to take dessert out on the porch, Jake kissed Maria's lips and whispered in her ear,

"You're doing great." As he pulled away, she rubbed a thumb across a fading bruise on his jaw. As the late afternoon light started lengthening into evening shadows, Jake was first to catch the sudden silence. Grinning, he wrapped an arm around her.

"I love her." He grinned as Edgar studied him a moment; then a smile brightened the deckboss's face as he clapped Jake on the shoulder.

"Good for you. I'm proud of you, Junior…I'm proud of both of you." Jake grinned as he accepted Edgar's handshake. Maria's smile brightened a little as the youngest Hansen winked at her.

Hours later, when his brothers, Jake and Maria sat in Sig's truck, Edgar came around to Maria's side of the truck and reached inside. Gently squeezing her shoulder, he met her eye.

"I'm glad you came."

"Thanks for inviting me." At her smile, Edgar nodded and withdrew his hand to dig into his jeans pocket. Louise approached, holding a long slender box. Edgar passed it to Maria, his expression turning serious for a moment.

"Don't open that box yet. Jake'll explain it when we meet on the boat tomorrow. I think he's got something he has to ask you anyways…." Jake leaned forward, eyes widening and muttering for the deckboss to shut up. Meeting Maria's confused look, he brushed her cheek with a bent finger.

"We'll explain tomorrow. But, Fish, please? Wait until tomorrow before you open the box?" Despite her confusion, Maria reluctantly agreed.

Shutting the car door behind her, Maria followed Jake across the parking lot and into the docks. The dawn's glow competed with the lights of the empty dockyard. On several occasions she tried drawing out the reason for all the secrecy, but Jake's only response was to grin with a giddy "you'll see".

Finally, they boarded the _Northwestern_ by a gangplank and entered the unlocked hatch. Joining the five other men at the galley table, they accepted steaming mugs of coffee.

"Did you bring the box?" Nodding at Edgar's question, Maria pulled the slender box from her hoodie pocket and set it on the table between them. Whole face smiling, Edgar nodded and gestured to the box.

"_Now_ you can open it." Maria's eyebrows rose in suspicion as she did as bidden; suspicion turned to confused surprise as she lifted a golden crab pendant on a matching chain from the cottony padding. The crab shone in the galley lights and the men chuckled at her reaction.

"You're one of us now, Pescado."

"I don't understand…" Raising his hand to forestall further questions, Sig explained.

"The judge found out about what you did for Norm, and what happened to your grandmother, and decided that you'd had enough punishment. If it makes you feel better, consider the necklace a 'penance completed' and move on. You're one of us, now…part of the family. _Our_ family," his hand made a small circle in front of him to indicate the crew.

As Jake took the pendant from Maria's loose grip, he lightly pulled her hair over a shoulder and fastened it around her neck. When he met her gaze, the tears glistening in her eyes surprised him. Hugging her close, he looked to the others with a raised shoulder. Maria felt the movement and smiled.

"Thank you. This means everything to me…" At a loss for words, she trailed off and touched the pendant tenderly as she met each man's eye. Sig reached over Jake's head and gently tousled her hair with a fond smile.

"You're welcome. But if we end up needing an extra hand, Edgar won't be anywhere near as…gentle, or _forgiving_…as Norm was." Maria shot a look at Edgar, who was beaming with an evil and mischievous glint to his grin.

"Oh, believe me. You'll be my perfect little minion by the end of the first week."

Maria studied the deckboss with a critical eye; hesitantly she tested how far she could tease the man she barely knew.

"But you've been out of the game for a season…are you sure you'd be able to keep up with me? I might just be running laps around you by the end of the first week."

Laughter broke out again as Edgar's expression all but screamed "Oh really". Glancing up at Sig, Edgar jerked a thumb in Maria's direction.

"I think she's been hanging out with Junior a little too much…she's getting to be just as cocky as _he_ is!" Turning back to Maria, the deckboss studied her a little more carefully. He glanced over the crew, and briefly meeting Nick's eye, he sized up the young woman near him.

"We'll have to see about the whole laps thing…first week in, we'll see how cocky you are."

Meeting Edgar's gaze, she realized he was serious. Reaching across the table, she smiled boldly with a nod of agreement. As he gripped her hand, she caught the look Sig shot Norman and her smile grew more confidant.

"Deal."

**A/N: This chapter concludes _Honor's Truth._ Thanks again for reading and all reviews and story favorites. Once again, reviews and constructive criticism for this and previous chapters are most welcome and greatly appreciated. Now on to the next great adventure!**

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Story copyright Alissa Franko 2009-2010


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